Personal Development

FOMO & Is The Grass Really Greener On The Other Side?

The grass is greener on the other side. What a bunch of crap! The grass is greener where you water it.

For most of my life, I suffered from FOMO (Fear Of Missing Out) & the grass is greener on the other side complex (or GIGOTOS as I like to call it).

When I was working in Hollywood Nightlife I always thought I should be doing something else even though I was having fun, building career capital & making great money.

In the first couple of years at Oh My Green I had plenty of thoughts of “This is too hard. There is too much stress & anxiety. Life would be better at another company.”

Fortunately, over the last few years, I’ve learned from serious in-depth life study, several mental/physical concepts, techniques habits & transformative processes that have empowered me to embrace my actual life, right here, right now, in the present.

These formative practices include daily meditation, getting good sleep, practicing stoicism, developing grit & anti-fragility, Vision Quests & Physical Quests (Gran Fondo, Spartan Beast), yoga, participating in transformational workshops & coaching (Landmark, Couples Coaching), & reading some great books & blogs as well listening to podcasts that have alchemized the way I think about work, money, relationships & life in general.

Sticking around at Oh My Green and using the constant challenges to forge myself anew again and again has been one of the best decisions & practices of my life. The obstacle is the way. And the challenges don’t get easier or go away. Just like you don’t get rid of your problems. You just get better problems (aka opportunities) to work on that will push & empower you to the next level of your life.

The only thing you are missing out on when you are focused on something that is out there is your own wild & wonderful life.

So if you think the grass is greener on the other side & are experiencing FOMO... WAKE THE FUCK UP!

Your life is happening right now in this very moment.

Everything you need to live a life worth living for is contained within you. The work you are doing, the relationship you are in, the experiences/situations you are in & the body you inhabit are the very things that you can use to create a life truly worth living for.

Your life is the biggest gift you will ever be given and to tap into it you need to focus on the present. Realize the future, the past, and some other person, place or thing outside of yourself and your life is an illusion meant to distract you from receiving the gift of the present. There is a very important reason it’s called the PRESENT—it is the gift of all gifts!

Ignore the noise & take 100% responsibility for all aspects of your life & take massive action. By doing this you will realize just how much personal power you have & just how awesome your life is.

To reiterate, the key is taking RESPONSIBILITY & ACTION now. For everything in your life. Not some day in the future.

We all have problems. Empowered individuals mine the fuck out of their problems & turn them into golden opportunities that transform their lives for the better. They do this each day and each week, especially during the messy & chaotic times.

So, I say fuck that other grass & fuck FOMO. I’m gonna keep watering this grass right here & with just a little bit of self-awareness know that I can harness the power of JOMO — the Joy Of Missing Out on shit that isn’t happening in my life right here, right now. I’m embracing my PRESENT!

5 powerful ways to cultivate JOMO, avoid FOMO & negate the grass is greener on the other side Mentality:

In addition to the more in-depth methods I mentioned above here are 4 strategies you can begin implementing in your life today to build a better more satisfying & authentic life. 

  1. Develop a personal mission: when you are living on purpose and are consciously aware that you are living on purpose you actually appreciate exactly where you are at and FOMO and GIGOTOS have nothing on you. [some resources listed in this article for developing a personal mission]

  2. Understand & activate the 3 Related Principles of Continuous Life Optimization: When you focus on optimizing these three areas—people, environment, consumption—it’s unlikely you will succumb to FOMO or grass is greener on the other side.

  3. Practice Negative Visualization: This is a great mental technique to bring massive joy to just about any situation in your life. I practice it daily.  [quick tutorial on this in this Instagram Post]

  4. Meditate: I’ve been doing Transcendental Meditation (TM) for over 4 years without missing a single day of meditation. It’s a powerful part of keeping my Inner Citadel well fortified. There are hundreds if not thousands of types of meditation practices. Headspace is a great place to start (download the app & start today). The point is to find one that works for you and keep at it. It is not an overnight fix. It’s slow, but the positive effects are deep, pervasive & long last-lasting.

  5. Take responsibility & action for EVERYTHING in your life: It’s amazing how much can be solved by taking responsibility & taking action. It cures fear, anxiety, stagnation & creates movement & new life in your life.

There are plenty of other strategies to cultivate JOMO, avoid FOMO & negate the grass is greener on the other side mentality. At the core of it all is MINDSET & HABITS—build these up and you’ll be happily seated in your powerful Inner Citadel that has everything you need to live a life worth living for.

Feel free to share your related tips & strategies in the comments or reach out to me on one of my social media platforms to share.

Wishing you all a life full of Joy in the Present!


END NOTE: This was originally an Instagram Post that I updated & slightly expanded so that it could be more useful instead of just inspiring. I use my Instagram like a microblog, but oftentimes find that I need more characters/words than allowed to fully flesh out an empowering piece of content.



Always more Life Empowering posts & stories on my Instagram:


Books That Radically Transformed My Life

Reading is one of the things that brings me the most joy in life.

Reading also happens to be one of the most transformational growth-inducing activities I do daily.

I've been thinking about putting together a list of books that have radically transformed my life for the better for a long time.

I finally realized that I may as well start because I will never be done. And I can always come back & update this as I see fit.

Special note: This is a living-resource that I will continuously curate so don't feel the need to go through all of these as fast as possible. Just pick one book that catches your mind's-eye, take your time with it and come back here for the next one when you're ready!

So, without further ado, here are...

Books That Have Radically Alchemized (Transformed) My Life:

Creativity

The Artist's Way: A Spiritual Path To Higher Creativity by Julia Cameron

Julia Cameron is one of my biggest mentors. This book was groundbreaking & truly life-changing. It unleashed me as an artist, creative & writer. It taught me to fall in love with journaling--one of the most empowering transformational tools I have in my repertoire. It also linked creativity as a pathway for spiritual communion. This paradigm radically alchemized my life in infinite ways.

The Icarus Deception: How High Will You Fly? by Seth Goden

Seth Goden is a brilliant writer & thinker. This book unbound me from own creative suppression. It gave me permission to create & share and naturally allow an audience to form around my creative work.

Bird by Bird: Some Instructions on Writing & Life by Anne Lamott

Anne Lamott is one of my favorite writers. This book makes me laugh, cry, reel with delight, soar in intellectual & emotional brilliance & so much more. Her writing makes me desperately want to write. Inspiring and great life advice even if one has no interest in writing.

Daily Rituals: How Artists Work by Mason Currey

Mason Currey showed me that art & creativity and the work that goes into producing it comes in all shapes, forms, sizes, colors, shades & walks-of-life. There is no one right way. There is a way that works for you. Our job is to find & harness our unique ways that empower our personal creative process.

Steal Like An Artist: 10 Things No One Told You About Being Creative by Austin Kleon

This book gave me permission to "steal" the work of others, combine it with other works in all fields & topics, and alchemize it all together to make it my own. Short. Fun. Powerful. Read this.

Show Your Work! by Austin Kleon

Austin Kleon taught me that it is not only okay but actually an integral part of the creative process to show your work even as your are developing it (aka before it's "done"). He empowered me to stop hiding my vulnerability & instead use it as a strength & pathway forward.


Human Potential, Personal Development & Money

Awaken The Giant Within by Anthony Robbins

First read this as a teenager. Radically transformed my life for the better. Went from loaner & playground bully to powerful social force for achievement as well as leader in all areas of life (school, sports, family, etc). It truly unlocked my potential. Aided me getting to Stanford University & beyond. Re-reading again in my 30s and diligently studying & applying. Having same effect it did when I was teenager.

Unlimited Power by Tony Robbins

Same case as above with Awaken The Giant Within.

The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People: Powerful Lessons In Personal Change by Stephen R. Covey

Foundational. We are our habits. Everyone should read. Also recommend the teenager version written by the author's son.

Willpower by Roy F. Baumeister & John Tierney

This book gave me an obsession with habits. Game-changer. Amazing parenting advice as well. 

Better Than Before by Gretchen Rubin

One of my favorite books on habits & optimal conscious habit-design for your unique temperament. 

Think & Grow Rich by Napoleon Hill

Probably one of the most timeless & popular success books ever written. There is a reason it's on so many incredibly successful people's must-read book-lists.

The Master-Key To Riches by Napoleon Hill

This is a lesser known gem by Napoleon Hill. Short & straightforward, yet you could study it daily for the rest of your life.

The Peaceful Warrior: A Book That Changes Lives by Dan Millman

Dan Millman and this book made me realize & finally "see" the woman of my dreams. For this I will be forever deeply grateful. It also happens to be a life-changing book in many other ways.

The 4-Hour Workweek: Escape 9-5, Live Anywhere & Join The New Rich by Tim Ferriss

I read this when it first came out in 2007. I instantly thought to myself "Finally! I understand who I want to become!" My vision was similar to Tim Ferriss with the human potential & positive transformation leadership, but with my own alchemical fashion-forward spiritual-hipster twist! Ten years later I am finally living that vision. Forever my deepest gratitude to you, Tim Ferriss for helping me understand, see & live my own personal vision.

Psycho-Cybernetics Maxwell Waltz

Read this at a super young age (thanks Dad!). Awesome book about harnessing your subconscious & building self-esteem.

The 48 Laws of Power by Robert Greene

Incredibly dense book. I don't agree with everything in it (in the sense of actually using the power to my advantage), but I can see how some people operate from some of these more questionable power-paradigms. That said, I strongly believe that having knowledge & awareness around power-dynamics is paramount to creating & protecting the life you do want to live.

Creating Money: Attracting Abundance by Sanaya Roman & Duane Packer

This book finally gave me the spiritual-connection to money that I had been seeking for so long.

How to Win Friends & Influence People by Dale Carnegie

Classic. Another book that is on many super-performers must-read lists. No matter what field of business you are in this will be of the utmost service to your life-journey.

Mindset: The New Psychology Of Success by Carol S. Dweck

For a "recovering-perfectionist" like myself this book was life-transforming. I recommend this book to all students (those in formal schooling like high-school & college as well a life-students) and anyone who has kids or ever wants to have kids. This book teaches you how to learn & grow. It teaches you how to cultivate a learning/growth-mindset in your children. Powerful stuff.

Grit: The Power of Passion & Perseverance by Angela Duckworth

This book gifted me with one of my core-values: grit (defined as passion & perseverance). A great companion to Mindset (above).

The Obstacle Is The Way: The Timeless Art of Turning Trials Into Triumph by Ryan Holiday

Ryan Holiday taught me to "follow the process, not the prize." This led me to fall in love with the journey of writing, blogging, business-building, etc. It is also an essential book to pick-up & re-read whenever one is feeling blocked by an obstacle.

A Guide To The Good Life: The Ancient Art of Stoic Joy by William B. Irvine

A practical guide to the life philosophy of Stoicism and how to apply it in our modern world. The amount of joy I've experienced on a regular basis after reading this book & incorporating the lessons within it has been nothing short of AMAZING! If you read nothing else, just read the part about Negative Visualization. It will change your life for the better!

The Fire Starter Sessions: A Soulful + Practical Guide To Creating Success On Your Own Terms by Danielle LaPorte

This book really helped me get clear on what success really deeply means to me personally (versus being lost to yourself by defining success on other people’s/society’s terms). Great book that leads one to greater Self-Knowledge which is crucial to living a life worth living for!


Healing, Intuition & Spiritual

You Can Heal Your Life by Louise L. Hay

If I could only give others one book for the rest of my life this would probably be it. It taught me to truly love myself. Get the gift addition (I swear the artistic & colorful pictures empower the healing process).

Prayers to the great creator by Julia cameron

This is a book of prayers & declarations for a meaningful life. My Spirit is stirred just about every time I pick up this book & read from it aloud or in my head.

The Four-Fold Way: Walking The Paths Of The Warrior, Teacher, Healer & Visionary by Angeles Arrien

Life-changing tools & easy-to-read guidebook on harnessing & building within these four archetypes (warrior, teacher, healer & visionary). I grew up with this book thanks to my Mom. It holds a special place in my heart.

The Yamas & Niyamas: Exploring Yoga's Ethical Practice by Deborah Adele

Incredibly applicable way to live the philosophy of Yoga in modern-life. Super easy & fun read too.

Voyager Tarot: Way of The Great Oracle by James Wanless (plus Voyager Tarot Deck)

I've been practicing Tarot since 2009 to cultivate my own intuition & build deep self-knowledge. This is my favorite Tarot Deck & its in-depth companion guide.

The Tarot Handbook: Practical Applications of Ancient Visual Symbols by Angeles Arrien (plus Thoth Tarot Deck)

This is my favorite book on Tarot which is based on Aleister Crowley's Thoth Deck, my other favorite Tarot deck.

Animal Spirit Guides: An Easy-to-Use Handbook For Identifying & Understanding Your Power Animals & Animal Spirit Helpers by Steven D. Farmer Ph.D.

Spiritual Hipster incarnate. Yes I am! I traverse this magical world with my pack of Power Animals by my side. My family & friends call me "Dragon" and there is very deep meaning behind this. Want to discover your own power animal and/or develop your own totem animal pack? Read this book.

The Book Of Stones: Who They Are & What They Teach by Robert Simmons & Naisha Ashian

A key part of being a Spiritual Hipster is working with gemstones. I've studied this book in-depth for years and know I will constantly go back to it for the rest of my life. Check it out if you've ever felt the energetic call of the enigmatic crystal-allies.

Women Food & God: An Unexpected Path To Almost Anything by Geneen Roth

For much of my life I abused food like a drug. As a result I had an incredibly damaging relationship with both food & my body. This book was an integral part of the healing process. It was written for women, but if you have any food-issues this book will hit-home.

Awakening Spirits: A Native American Path To Inner Peace, Healing & Spiritual Growth by Tom Brown, Jr.

This book inspired me to go on a Vision Quest -- one of the most powerful transformational experiences I've ever undergone. The experience of the quest still continues to unfold its awesome power in my life every day. It also includes the teaching of a very powerful & easy-to-do meditation.


Fiction, Fantasy & Sci-Fi

The Wheel of Time by Robert Jordan

My favorite Fantasy series of all time. Bar none.

The Inheritance Cycle by Christopher Paolini

My favorite Dragon-themed fantasy series. Dragon is my main power animal so this series holds a special place in my heart. There are also Elves. Another magical soft-spot of mine.

The Kingkiller Chronicle by Patrick Rothfuss

Probably my second favorite fantasy series. It's not finished yet (only two books so far).

Redwall by Brian Jacques

This was the fantasy book that started my lifelong love-affair with fantasy (my favorite form of pleasure reading). I still vividly remember reading this during a childhood multi-day river-rafting/camping trip.

The Alchemist by Paulo Coelho

This book taught me to trust the journey and process even when what I am currently doing in life doesn't seem to be leading me where I am supposed to go. It is, it's just in disguise patiently waiting for me to understand, become aware & embrace the journey.

Ender's Game by Orson Scott Card

My favorite Sci-Fi book and the book that caused me to fall in love with Sci-Fi. Ender's Shadow is just as good. I like most whichever I've most recently read.

Harry Potter Series by J.K. Rowling

I made fun of my mom & younger brother for about a year for reading "children's books" (how I ignorantly categorized the Harry Potter books). Then I finally began one and I was hooked. Read the first 3-4 books in about a week. That's how good it was. It also happens to be one of the few fiction series I've read in entirety more than once.


And that's it!  For now... 🤓 📚 🙌🏼

Do you have any books that radically changed your life that are not on this list? If so, please share! Leave me a comment (scroll all the way down), email me, or send me a tweet with your suggestion! 🙏🏼

I am always on the lookout for Life-Alchemizing books and I would love to add your favorite to this list after falling in love with it myself!

In alchemy & service,

Justin David Carl 🌒